Come Hungry. Leave Happy.

I love (or, more accurately, used to love) the International House of Pancakes. It's way before my time, but this unbelievably bizarre 1969 commercial has brought those old feelings rushing back...



"Of course it says pancakes on the outside, but there's a lot more on the inside." Evidently "a lot more" includes a deranged, acid-damaged chipmunk.

During my "extensive research" for this "piece," I discovered that IHoP is currently celebrating its fiftieth year. The flapjack flagship, if you will, opened in Toluca Lake, California, in 1958. (Sadly, there isn't a single IHoP in Toluca Lake these days.) Impressively, the chain was already adding locations a mere two years later, and by 1963 "International Industries" had reached conglomerate status, acquiring several other brands (including Orange Julius and something called The Original House of Pies).

The classic lineup: blueberry, boysenberry, butter pecan, and strawberry

And yet, despite my very happy IHoP memories from the early 1980s, it seems the chain's descent into mass-market pablum began with two pivotal shifts in the 1970s: In 1973 the company officially embraced the "IHOP" acronym in its marketing materials; and in 1979 they built their last A-frame building.

Remember when you couldn't order the Rooty Tooty Fresh & Fruity breakfast without everyone thinking you were a great big HOMO?(Here's another example of America's Fresh&Fuityphobia.)

I haven't had an IHoP pancake in years because a) I haven't been on a road trip with my dad since I was a teenager; b) you can't really get decent chain food in Manhattan; and c) the franchise has gradually become just another strip-mall symbol of America's slackening jaw and thickening waistline... after all, last year IHoP purchased Applebees. It's hard to consider something a special treat when it's traded on the Nasdaq (IHP) and the iconic building has been replaced by thousands of shitty looking blue monstrosities. According to Wikipedia, "As of September 30, 2007, the chain had 1,328 restaurants in 49 states, the U.S. Virgin Islands, Canada, and Mexico." Hell, these days they use "International House of Pancakes" as a "secondary name."


Anyway, the company's official timeline, along with the Wikipedia entry, make for fascinating -- if ultimately depressing -- reading. I did use the restaurant locater to find my nearest IHoP: just a block from the Hoyt/Schermerhorn subway stop in Brooklyn. I won't be eating pancakes in that neighborhood anytime soon, so I'll have to wait until the next road trip.

At least now they have cool celebrity spokespeople...